Categories
Personal Philosophy Website

On Blogging.

Taken at MatchBOX Coworking Studio
Taken at MatchBOX Coworking Studio

So here is the first official post for a project I’m doing with a couple of friends. It’s like the 24-hour blog days of yore, but just changing by the week. I have no idea how long it will last, but it does give me an excuse to write, which is never a bad thing.

This first topic is “Where do you find content to blog about?” I suggested a very similar topic, “Why blog?”, the week after so I’m going to combine the two because halfway into writing this I can’t seem to disconnect the two.

This one isn’t too hard to answer. It’s a pretty even split between personal journal and video games, with a sprinkling of projects that I have completed or am working on.

With disparate content such as that I’ve struggled with how to organize this website for as long as I’ve had this website. It is such a garbled mess of content. In a serendipitous sort of way this website is a good parallel for myself as I am not just one thing, but a mish-mash of myriad interests and experiences. It’s elegant in that respect. With that in mind I tell myself to just forget about it. I’d love to, but that’s not really the person I am. I will figure out a new schema, implement it, love it, and then, over time, I will learn to hate it and think of another one. It is my cross to bear.

I started blogging because the Internet was a crazy wild, wilderness where people were creating all kinds of amazing content. Standardization for the web was still getting, well, standardized, but there was a clear desire for people to share their life experiences with other people. I stumbled on some blogs of people living abroad in Japan and, occasionally, talking about video games and I was totally taken. The writing felt raw and intimate. It felt less like a well-edited biography and more as if they were speaking directly to me. This same process would take me again with my introduction to vlogging years later, but that is for a different time.

I was young, but I was inspired to do the same thing. So way back in 2003 (Wow, that was twelve years ago. That makes you think) I started up an Anglefire page and used a custom hard-coded, HTML page to write my first entry. This was all I knew really; I didn’t have any real web experience beyond rudimentary HTML and so thus, a blog was formed under the signage “Life as a Nerd.” This eventually moved to a Xanga, then to a Blogspot under the Japanese name “Kikaihito”, roughly translating to “machine person” (ugh). I eventually started to learn more about computers and servers and wanted to have full control of all my content. I learned about Word Press and how to set up a self-hosted site and thus killer-tofu.com was born. I still hadn’t owned killertofu.com as a Chinese gentleman owned it, but I got the next best thing. Slowly, and painstakingly I copy-pasted my content from Blogspot (as there was no one-to-one transfer at the time) to its new home. Eventually, on a vacation I was taking with my father, I stayed up late one night in a hotel room when the killertofu.com domain name was set to expire and nabbed it, which is why I will probably never give the name up.

I’ve been going back through the old entries when I get a free moment to read (and also to correct horrendous spelling and grammar mistakes) and it is nice to have your past thoughts and ideals sealed in time (even if some of them make you cringe).

If I were to dig deeper I blog about things for catharsis, introspection, and things I’m passionate about. I find it valuable to go back through and examine events, decisions, whatever in my life, and one of the ways my brain does it well is writing (that is not to say my brain writes well). It gives me an opportunity to organize and process whatever I’ve been going through. I feel better after, even if the writing turns out mundane. It’s putting the dishes away or folding the laundry. It gives order to my thoughts. It’s relaxing and helps contextualize my existence.

When I say passion, it mostly is because the things I write about that fall within this category are often things I want the whole world to know about. The stuff is weird, and excited, and amazing. I want to stop people on the street and tell them about how cool this stuff is. Instead of being a total weirdo, I settle for writing it on my blog, which boasts 20 visitors monthly. I realize it falls mostly within the realm of video games, but guys, have you seen them?! They are the best.

Finally, projects. I would probably go stir crazy if I wasn’t working on something. There is so much cool stuff in the world, and so much neat stuff to learn and do. I want to taste all of it, so I tend to do projects. If I find it interesting, chances are someone else is bound to as well, so I usually do a write up here. Not to mention I’m usually proud of the work I do and want to show it off. It is totally ok to take pride in what you do! Just don’t be a jerk. Like, rule number 1, don’t be a jerk.

So, yeah, blogging. It’s great! I’ll keep doing it, and, boy, do I think I have a way to organize it all.

Categories
Fitness Personal Philosophy

On Running (Again).

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I’ve talked about exercise and running on here before, but I wanted to expound on it. This whole post is spurred on by The Oatmeal’s great comic he did on running and what it means to him. There was plenty that I related to in there, but there was some notable exceptions. I do recommend you go read it though, it is funny and a great portrayal of what many runners go through. Another inspiration was the semi-autobiographical story by Haruki Murakami and his love of running called What I Talk about When I Talk about Running. I don’t want to compare and contrast their views to mine, but I do want to talk about running.

Now that no one else is reading thanks to that last sentence I think we are good to start. I was introduced to running by an ex-girlfriend of mine in high school, and at first I hated it with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. I did stick with it, partly for her sake, but mostly I needed to get in some kind of shape instead of being in many different shapes. So, I started running regularly, getting into the rhythms and feelings and I got hooked. Here we are eight years later, and I’m finally writing down my thoughts on it. Timely.

Why do people even run? I mean I guess initially it was either to get from point A to point B quicker and/or/probably to outrun dangerous predator’s gaping maws. We are pretty much past that now, I think, at least in the first world we are not often found running for travel or from predators. Now running is a purely recreational activity (for the sake of this post I do include exercise even though it’s for your health).

As a form of recreation it seems to be an odd one. Most people do things to either induce pleasure or reduce pain. Running kind of accomplishes both. Let’s first do away with the notion that people who run regularly are exempt from pain. Every day I run I am in pain. It is not an unbearable pain, it is just a constant, dull pain. Sure, you can run faster, longer, and have a shorter recovery period, but the pain is still there. Not to be melodramatic, but that is why I love it, the pain makes you feel alive.

While we are on the subject of pain, let’s get in touch with our emotional side. I know we are all strong, independent women here, but yes, I’m sure all of us have felt like life sauntered on up and out of nowhere punched us right in the solar plexus. For times like this, running is just about the best cure I can think of. The act takes your mind off of whatever happened, makes you exert all that negative energy, and releases sweet amounts of endorphins so you don’t tailspin into a depression cesspool of woe and misery. So next time you find yourself at the intersection of sad and super sad, throw on your running shoes and just go.

Running, when not done in a competitive environment, puts the onus of competition squarely on yourself. Mind V. Body in the purest sense. When you really get into the run all your body is doing is telling you to stop. The all too familiar pain begins to creep up, you start sweating, and your breathing is now labored. You have to stop, but you can’t stop. The dichotomy that is ever-present in the mind of the runner intensifies the small conquests you have along the way. If you can make it just a little farther, a little more, a little faster, for a little longer – mantras repeated to help keep the body silenced. If you wind up on the winning side of history you feel just gosh dang amazing.

Bear Shark

There is a state called “The Runner’s High” where your body releases a bunch of endorphins and you feel an intense sense of empowerment. You feel like you can fight 10 snarling, vicious bear sharks and win. It is one of the best feelings I’ve experienced. I’ve heard people describe “The Runner’s High” as addictive. It definitely produces a feeling you want to chase down again. I’m not so much of a spiritual or religious person, but the post-run has to be as close to a spiritual moment as one can get without the aid of another human (SEX, GUYS, I AM TALKING ABOUT SEX HERE). It is like being awash in a sea of rainbows and puppy dogs. Dudes, it feels amazing.

When I run on the treadmill in the winter months I have something I like to call “The Two-Minute Hate.” Yes, inspired by one of my favorite books, 1984. I would do my normal workout, but for the last two minutes would increase the intensity to unsustainable levels. I did this to “leave nothing on the field” as sportsman say. For instance, if I was running on a 7, I would crank it to 8.5 for the first minute, and then 10 for the last minute. During that time your whole body is screaming. It takes everything to keep going, or worse, to keep from falling off the treadmill. During those two minutes everything is wrong. Everything is pain. All is chaos. However, after that two minutes, when you start to come down off the rage junket, order starts to return and the wave of ecstasy hits you. Now nothing could go wrong. This alone would be reason enough to run, but there is another, if not more important reason.

At any given time I have about five or six things running around in my head. My brain is terrible at managing and organizing them. Seriously, it is god awful. That’s why I have such a strong adherence to calendars and lists. Without it I would forget everything and not get anything done. I’ve said it before, but my brain is stupid. Unfortunately, the calendars and lists do nothing to deal with anything emotional or thought-provoking. If there is really a big problem I have to work through, I go for a run. Running is my meditation. Running is my time. While running all the crazy beasts bouncing off the inside my skull quiet down and I can focus, I can think. I can try to work though the issues plaguing me for the day and clear my head. Part of the reason for this focus I feel is the simplistic nature of running. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other, but you know, more quickly than walking. All I have to do is remember to do that, which leaves my head free to tackle other things.

Image by The Oatmeal
Image by The Oatmeal

There is one more reason, the reason probably everyone cites, and that is health. Running works your heart out. If you are not aware your heart is that thing that is shaped like an upside down butt and totally hates cheeseburgers. You will see weight loss, but it is not as staggering as some other exercise plans. The Oatmeal points out in his comic, you will not start looking like Charles Atlas on running alone. You will start developing some mad stamina though. Plus, as an American, heart disease runs rampant in this corn-fed country so making that thing sweat a little is always a good idea.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this because it is AMAZING. Hot running. This week in particular has granted it its own subsection. It’s been roughly 100+ degrees Fahrenheit all week long and I’ve run every day in it. It is equal parts the best and worst. You know that feeling when you put the blanket over your head to block out the light or to get warm, but then all the hot air from your breath fills it up and it’s like stiflingly hot? Imagine that feeling, but gradually getting worse for your whole run while sweat pours out from you. That, my friend, is hot running, and it feels awful and great. It’s horrid for the obvious, stated reasons, but just about every part of that run feels like a victory. You fight to keep going and every foot more is a victory (Sorry people not in the US, for using all the wrong units. I love the metric system, let’s be best friends solely based on that.). It makes you feel human. It makes you feel alive.

Running is one of my favorite activities to do and it keeps me sane, healthy, and focused. My day feels unfulfilled when I have to miss. Maybe runners are a different breed and people think we are a tad askew, but I feel glad to be counted among the ranks. I stray from time to time, but I always come back and running is always right there waiting with a sign that says “Pick up the pace fatty.” I love you, too, running.

Categories
Personal Philosophy

On Stuff I’ve Been Thinking About.

I am starting this blog project with some friends of mine that is similar to the 24-Hour Blog Day 1 and 2. If you took 24-Hour Blog Day and stretched it out you’d have this project. The basic concept is that a rotating person (a new person chosen from a rotation of people not a person who is spinning. Duh, guys.) chooses a topic and we all have to write a posts on it within a week. Simple. To prepare myself for it I decided to write just a short post just to sand some of the rust off.

Basically, I want to just present you with some things that have been on my mind grapes.

  • VCRs, Cassete Tapes, Film Cameras, Vinyl Records. They are all analog devices. We are, or are getting very close to being, completely off analog storage standards for our media. Given our high definition video and audio and it’s storage being in a digital format; Do you think that we could have achieved this kind of fidelity with analog devices?
  • How everything can be described by a mathematical function, eventually.
  • How incredibly elegant computers are. I mean we take fantastically enormous functions and problems and break it down to a series of functions on 1s and 0s. How amazing.
  • How the SNES is great. It really is great.
  • Why people who claim to be Christian forget the golden rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Would you want another to restrict your rights as a person? My guess is no, but it’s hard to look at things from another’s point of view. That being said it’s important to try. Tolerance and acceptance can only be found in another’s shoes.

These are just some of the myriad things I have been thinking about. What do you guys think about any of this? Lemme know and stay tuned for at least weekly blog updates thanks to the blog project. First one is coming up in a couple days.