Back…sort of

Hello Everyone! It feels good to be back. Well kind of back. I am using blogger right now while my server is in limbo. With school and surmounting problems, I have not been able to get my web server back online since I formatted it a while ago. Apache, MySQL, and PHP are not playing well together and causing me such a headache. For now all blog posts will be on here. I have no backlog because for the time being all my old posts are in a MySQL backup file. No need to worry though, they are all safe and sound, just jumbled. Any posts that are on here will show up on my when I get my blog restored, whenever that may be. Honestly, I am getting pretty fed up with the whole thing. It’s on a Windows server which is strange because I use Linux as my main OS and Windows as my server OS, that’s pretty bass ackwards. Next chance I get I might dump the Windows all together and give my pal Linux a try. I need to find out if I can remote into it like I can into Windows. GUI remote not just SSH. I am sorry I was raised on GUI and I am try to ween myself off of it but for now that’s my reasoning behind using Windows for the server.

OK, so nerdy stuff out of the way let’s get down to the crux of the matter. I need to blog, it’s an inherent characteristic of mine. I need to chronical my thoughts. It’s my way of letting it out, and with no blog I have been having to bottle these thoughts up. It’s not fun for me. With that also being said, I will now start with normal thoughts on life, as I usually do.

I overhear a lot of things throughout the day. I drop some heavy eaves when I am around groups of people. I don’t really try to, but if they are talking loudly, I do them a service and listen because they are obviously trying to let the whole world know their story at that volume. Lately, the general trend of conversation is to complain; complain about so many things. Little, tiny, insignificant things. This past year I have really grown emotionally on many ways. One of those ways has been to put things into perspective and not to “sweat the small stuff”, to quote many others. People get upset over the most mundane of things. Things that shouldn’t really phase people in the grand scheme of things. I hear people getting upset about the most trivial of things. For example, my boyfriend didn’t hang out with me this one time out of the week and I have to focus all my energy on that fact; the same applies to guys as well, just swap boyfriend for girlfriend, or my least favorite whining, “I don’t have a significant other.” You should never define yourself by another person. You should always retain individuality. I can’t tell you how much I don’t want to hang out with someone who is so steeped in someone else that they can’t function without them. Be proud to be single! Experience things only a single person can. Explore yourself more, embellish your character. Be independent!

It’s aggravating because with all that is going on in the world, not just the bad, but with the incredible good and fantastic strides humanity is making, how can this be even considered a large life-altering problem? I have noticed I have turned from a staunch realist to an optimist. I will say I do not have my head fully up in the clouds, but it is starting to get foggy. I can say I am an optimist with my feet firmly planed on the ground. I know there is multiple ways to look at things, but I just find always dwelling on negatives and cant’s just leaves you with a gloomy feeling. Why would you want to spend your time that way. I have found myself spending less and less time with negative people because to be frank they just are not worth it. I would rather be spending my limited time with people who are upbeat and don’t have such a nihilist approach.

I read a good except today in an away message talking about how on a tombstone they print the dates of your birth and death with a dash between the years (e.g. 1945-1997). The start and the end are the least important part of the phrase though. The dash is your life. The dash encompasses your achievements and shortcoming, your values and your experiences. The dash represents your time here on Earth. It really gave me a lot of perspective on the finiteness of life. No matter how immortal you think you are, as a human being you will inevitably die. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing or a looming, dark cloud. It just…is. It’s something that will happen. With that in mind, why spend your life being negative or letting small disturbances ruin a day. You only have so many, so why not make the most of every one of them. I am not talking about making everyday drip with adrenaline. I am just talking about not wasting days. If you want to start doing something. Do it. Don’t be weighed down with reasons why not. This also doesn’t mean days of rest and relaxation are not living every day to its fullest. Those are crucial experiences, too.

The overarching theme here is don’t let life pass you by. Don’t regret moments in time. Take advantage of opportunities and make strides toward your goals everyday. Even if they are baby steps or even embryo movements. Try not to let the small things effect you so much. Life if full of possibilities if you open up your arms and embrace it. You are the only one that can define the dash. Make sure yours is everything you wanted it to be.

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