Categories
Blog Day 2011 Nonsense

On Traffic Destruction.

I feel I am woefully uneducated in traffic science and thus unable to give an accurate, real, analysis of the situation. Under these circumstance I will resort to the recesses of my mind and come up with a superhero scenario in which public and private property are callously destroyed without any thought to their fellow man. This also does quite a number on traffic.

Our weary, downtrodden traveler finds himself in yet another one of the constant traffic jams that plagues this grand metropolis. Listening to the drone of the radio, wishing he was home just so he could stretch out and prepare for the onslaught of the next mundane workday, he spots a glint, or maybe a sparkle out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly, CRASH! A giant piece of road has found its way into the side of a tractor-trailer. “What the hell was that?” asks our driver. Not a moment passes when a man ensconced in spandex and donning a cape comes soaring through the air grasping a angry, but determined super scientist complete with robotic armor. They continued their heated battle raining bits of concrete and rebar throughout the heavily crowded highway. Finally, the villain was subdued and the hero received his adoration from the crowd below. The problem was the passageway to our now irritated traveler’s home was heavily blockaded. Defeated, he pulled the lever to his seat, turned the radio off, and shut his eyes, longing for the comforts of home.

Categories
Blog Day 2011 Personal

On Childhood.

So, this was actually my topic. It was more wordy than the others apparently. The full length topic was “When someone mentions childhood, what one memory pops into your head. Explain in detail.” Which is exactly what I plan on doing.

I actually had my memory in mind when I wrote this topic. A vague idea, but an idea none the less.

Far and away this is what my mind wanders to when I think of my childhood. It is the one untarnished, perfect memory of when I was a child. This is when my cousins from wisconsin stayed with my aunt for a summer when their house was being built. To give an idea of why this was awesome we must first start with geography. On sunny Rustic Lane lives a good chunk of the Gyure family (At one time or another most have moved away). We have my house, and then right next door lives my Uncle and my four cousins, Kayleigh, Stephanie, Siena, and Myles. Not to far down the street lives my Aunt and two cousins, Ryan and Allison. Finally, next door to her is my Auntie Jan followed by my Grandma who lives one street over. That is a high concentration of family in a small area.

So my cousins, Tim, Jay, Eric, and Brian, from New York who were moving to Wisconsin were having their new house built and needed a place to stay during that. They decided to crash at my Auntie Jan’s. That started the best summer ever.

At any given time we had at least five people who were up for hanging out. On top of that we had a big trampoline, a Super Nintendo, and a pool at our disposal. Did we need anything else? (The answer is no). Almost every day that it wasn’t raining we would jump on the trampoline until we were all gross and sweaty and would go right next door to go swimming. We played all kind of stupid games in their too, like shark and *super powers. When night fell we played some of the most intense games of Ghost in the Graveyard and Sardines I can remember. We used the “short cut” which was a path between my house and my aunts house. At night it was the spookiest and covered so much land. Surprisingly, we actually found people and will go down as the most epic games of Ghost in the Graveyard ever. We also covered all the windows in my Aunt’s basement and played it down there on rainy days which made the whole basement pitch black. This was less of a game and more of a scare the living bajeezes out of everyone while bumping into walls and columns.

All this fun on top of the occasional back yard campout, frequent sleep overs, and lots of Super Nintendo left me in a constant state of content. I am probably looking at this through a bit of rose tinted glasses, but I wouldn’t trade these memories for all the money in the world.

 

*Super powers was when would each choose a super power and would fake fight with them. It was actually a lot of fun. Most of our powers came from video games such as Street Fighter II and Mega Man. Pure, unadulterated, imagination.

Categories
Blog Day 2011 Personal

On Funniest Moments.

This topic is actually kind of hard. Not because there isn’t funny moments to remember, there are plenty. The problem is that it is the way that the brain works. It’s a branching system, at least for me. The memories have to be shook out, one topic leads to another and then another, and so forth. So, begrudgingly, for now I am left with the funniest moment in recent memory. Maybe it will even shake some funnier memories out as I go along.

The last time I can remember laughing so hard that I couldn’t breath (the best kind of laughing) would be when a group a group of friends and I were having a fancy party (everyone dresses in fancy clothes and eats fancy horsey dovures [Hors d’œuvres]). During this event a friend and I we were doing something not so befitting of citizens of the upper echelon of society (that’s a lot of of’s). We were parting in the not so ancient tradition of drinking Four Loko (before the energy was taken out). As the night got on, so did the drinking, and so to did the loss of control.

In improv, there is a game called 185. The object of such game is that you have a topic, say telephones. You are to step forward and say “185 telephones walk into a bar…” then say a cheesy or clever (almost never clever) punch line. Well, my friend was already pretty gone (to be honest so was I) and he starts talking about 185. He then proceeds to say the best 185 I have heard.

“185 shopkeepers walk into a shop.”

“Am I right?”

The sheer nonsense of the statements combined with my newly inebriated state lead to a great fit of laughter. This was repeated through my circle of friends for the next couple of days. Thus my funniest moment in recent memory. If it sounds not as funny to read, it’s probably not, but trust me. It was good.

I have a sound-byte of it recorded in my first “Week in Video” so see if you can spot it.