It’s 2:16 am on Tuesday, November 20, 2007. It’s T-minus 3 hours until I am officially no longer a teenager. It’s really weird to think about. This is my last blog as a teenager! It seems like those years really flew by. So, much has happened in only 10 years to shape me. It’s probably going to be the most crucial decade in my entire life in terms of growing and changing. If I just take a quick jaunt down memory lane the first thing I think about is all the people that used to be so important in my life. I would have done absolutely anything for them and now I barely talk to them if I do at all. I am not necessarily sad or upset by this it is just interesting to see how much time just a couple years can make. I have shared some of my most intimate thoughts and best times with these people. It’s growing up I would imagine. I really do want to thank all those people who I have lost contact with, somehow you have changed me, or helped me to change myself. Also looking back I remember all the pain that came along with getting me to where I am today. That is something I probably will never, ever forget. I hate to whine about stupid petty stuff, but growing up hurts. It hurts a lot. It reminds me of the quote from Little Miss Sunshine when Frank is talking to Dwayne about Proust.
“..he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.”
There is really a lot of truth today. I think when I first got my heart broken. I mean really, really broken. Debilitating physical pain broken. That’s when I made the most self-realizations and grew the most as a person. I just come back to how much has happened in only 10 years. It’s just too much to go over. It’s been good and I wouldn’t trade all the pain, suffering, good-times and unforgettable memories for anything. I really am going to miss the innocence that comes with being a teenager, but at the same time I am fully ready to assume responsibility for my life. The future does not scare me. I am ready for the ups and downs it brings. I am going to try to make this coming decade better than the last. So, here is the closing to one chapter of my life and the opening of an entirely new one. Happy 20th me!